Kids, Craft and Chaos

Nowhere really, I mean I've been away for a day or so and work, the supermarket and what not but not really anywhere in particular. I just needed to take a little break from all this blogging, it was beginning to add to the daily burden rather than being a release.

You see, I started this blog when I was suffering with Post Natal Depression after Minnie was born- I was pretty low (not my lowest, but on the way out of that time), I had stopped breast feeding when I didn't really want to but the problems were mounting up, I hated pretty much everything about myself, I was suffering from panic attacks and my anxiety was at pretty much an all time high. The blog became my way of writing down the little bits of good in my life, the things that I had achieved (going to the park, playing with the kids, making a cake) rather than what my slightly out kilter brain was trying to tell me- that I could do nothing- that I was a useless mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend... Along with other support it became my happy memories that I couldn't always see.

Over time I didn't need to think about what I had achieved every day, I was doing it without thinking. That's why you never hear me whinging (well, rarely) about things on here- it's my happy place. It's most certainly not that life is perfect and we never get things wrong- we row, fall out, shout, don't clean the bathroom as often as we should, wear crushed clothes as much as the next family (in fact, I suspect a lot more than the next family).

But this last month or so some of the old thoughts were becoming more than the normal background niggles I was used to. I had stopped believing in myself. Not sure why, life I guess. I just wanted to walk away from this for a week or so and get life onto an even keel before coming back. You see, I love writing this little blog, I love having a forum for my pictures and for showing off (because lets face it what parent doesn't want to show off) the girls and all their brilliance and cheekiness and lovliness. I wanted to be back but I needed to be in the right frame of mind.

So, that's where I've been- I've been in my head, doing a bit of straightening out and tough talking. I'm feeling much better now thanks, so commence the chaos once more. Especially now school is back.