Kids, Craft and Chaos

Perfect Parenting. Am I part of the problem or am I part of the solution?

I can't count how many times I've been told that I'm a great mum, that I do so much with my girls, that people don't know how I find the time to do so much with the girls- paint, craft, bake, get muddy, go on adventures. It's lovely to hear that, to find out that people think I'm doing a good job. Who doesn't like to be praised when they put in a lot of effort and the results are there for others to see.

{My perfect front door, my children always put away shoes, jackets and bags.}

But the truth is, the image that you see here- on this blog- isn't the whole picture. It's not the purpose of this blog to be a warts and all parenting story, it's my happy place, where I come to relax and remember the good times. But, maybe people who don't know me in real life don't know that. Are there mums out there who read my blog and other's like it and think they are doing a less than perfect job of being parents.

{Beautifully handmade, perfectly cooked garlic bread in my immaculate oven}

According to netmums, pretty much every parent out there experiences peer pressure from other parents that they aren't doing enough to be perfect parents. From the very group of people we should expect understanding and support from we are creating a self perpetuating environment of one-up-man-ship and doing more than, being better than the next parent. It starts in ante-natal classes and health visitors through to mums and toddlers to the school gate. There is always another mum who has perfectly turned out kids, properly attired with healthy snacks and kids who are the epitome of great manners. There's a mum who seems to make everything her kids eat from scratch and her kids will eat anything, the mum who breast fed while setting up a multinational company selling ethically-sourced-great-for-harnessing-your-childs-innner-potential toys. Okay, so maybe I made the last one up. But you get the point, the GUILT! Oh the GUILT!

{Well tended perfectly displayed houseplants}

But do you know what I learned? I had terrible post natal depression and through the Aberlour Trust I attended a parenting group that helped mums and babies who were struggling with this same problem- that no matter how hard we tried we weren't good enough parents. Except, what we learned was, we were good enough. We all were. We were different and we all did things differently but we were all good enough.

{Perfectly organised belongings, sorted for recycle, bin and charity}

And when I talked to those parents at all those events it turns out that the reason the kids have super healthy snacks- they have severe allergies. Oh. They are perfectly turned out every day- the mum has OCD and it's her obsession to iron but the hoovering never gets done. Oh. the one who cooks from scratch is on a super tight budget and can't afford to buy ready made. Oh.

My kids do loads of crafts. It helps ease my depressive symptoms to craft, Chris usually has to tidy it up.

We go out a lot. It means I don't have to look at the mess in the house, Chris helps keep that under control.

I read to the girls everynight. It means they go to sleep without fighting It's only fair if Chris has had the girls all day.

I bake a lot. I like cake, we all like cake.

Okay, okay, so the last one had nothing to do with parenting but it is the reason.

{All our clothes washed, dried and ironed and put away immediately. We never rummage the piles before getting dressed each day}

I'm not saying I'm not a good parent, I've actually started to believe that I am a good parent, and it has taken me almost 7 years to begin to believe that. I put too much pressure on myself to be the fictional "perfect parent". So remember, next time you read about the fabulous things I do with my girls- there is everychance we're wearing the last pair of clean underwear.

I'm just a mum, doing my best everyday.